Trauma and time.

Trauma can do weird things to our perception of time. 

Things that happened years ago can feel like they happened yesterday. 

And things that happened yesterday can feel like they happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. 

Trauma survivors can be vulnerable to the “time blindness” experienced by many neurodivergent people. 

Part of this is due to the dissociative “flavor” of many complex post traumatic symptoms— by definition, dissociation is separating us from some aspect of the here and now, and perception of time is often “collateral damage” when we’re experiencing dissociation. 

In addition, many trauma survivors are vulnerable to specific subtypes of dissociation called depersonalization and derealization, in which we or the world around us, respectively, don’t feel particularly real. 

It’s hard to keep track of and be responsive to time demands when we’re not quite sure what’s real and what’s not— when everything feels like a dream, or a copy of a copy (of a copy). 

Add to this the fact that traumatic memory isn’t encoded in our brain the same way non-traumatic memory is, and doesn’t decay like “normal” memory does, and survivors can get even more disoriented about time. 

None of this is survivors’ fault. Nobody asked for time distortion and challenges with time perception as a symptom. Nobody likes it. 

It’s actually quite a pain in the ass, that can get us in trouble— and we CPTSD survivors specifically hate, hate, hate feeling in trouble. 

One of the most common suggestions given to survivors working their trauma recovery is to start with the skill of grounding— using our senses to connect to the present moment, typically by identifying colors and objects and sensations that connect us to the world around us. 

An important aspect of grounding that often gets underemphasized is time. 

I’ve worked with many survivors who, when they’re triggered, might be able to identify colors and objects and other stimuli around them— but who are thoroughly convinced that it’s another year, and they are another age. 

One of the most beneficial tools I’ve ever stumbled upon in my own trauma recovery was a simple day planner. 

I know, I know, using a planner can be a pain in the ass. It runs the risk of making survivors feel trapped and controlled, especially if we struggled with procrastination or time management growing up. 

But keeping track of my day, hour by hour— taking time at the top of the hour to jot down what happened in the last hour, and reorienting myself to the structure and flow of the day— has actually made every OTHER trauma recovery tool I use more effective. 

Reminding ourselves that, no matter what it feels like, time only has one direction it flows— forward— and that any time we’re convinced we’ve been sucked into the past represents a symptom that is f*cking with us, can be a game changer. 

Flashbacks do not make us time travelers. Switching “parts” does not stop the clock on the flow of time. 

Many complex trauma symptoms SEEM to f*ck with time— but we need to remember that’s an illusion. 

We are still right here, right now; time only flows in one direction; and it only flows forward one minute at a time. 

Breathe; blink; focus— and check in with yourself before the top of the hour.