A surefire way to sabotage our trauma recovery is to tell ourselves we “have” to do it.
Or to think of it as something our therapist or anyone else is “making” us do.
Believe me when I tell you, neither you nor I “have” to do anything.
Once upon a time, we did “have” to do things, or else be punished or worse.
If you’re reading this, you likely know a lot more about coercive control than anybody should have to.
Fast forward to now, and of course you’re touchy about feeling controlled.
So it’s real important to remind yourself: trauma recovery is not a “have to” thing.
You can opt out.
Of course, by opting out of trauma recovery, you’re necessarily accepting that trauma is going to control certain aspects of your life experience.
We are free to make decisions— but we are not free to avoid the consequences of our decisions.
I choose recovery because it actually makes me more realistically free.
Yes, trauma recovery means I use skills, tools, and philosophies every day that don’t necessarily come easily or naturally to me.
Yes, it means I cannot just let my mind go where it’s going to go on autopilot— because I’m quite aware that my “autopilot” was programmed by my bullies and abusers. I know where leaving my brain and body on autopilot leaves me, every time.
That is to say: I know that working my trauma recovery makes me a little less “free” in the moment.
But the freedom recovery offers me in the bigger picture— the freedom to NOT let my bullies and abusers control my life choices, how I feel and function— is so much more important to me than that day to day, minute to minute sh*t, it’s not even a question.
Your milage may vary. As I say, no one “has” to do any of this sh*t. No one even “has” to read this page. There are literally thousands of other internet pages. Some of them even have cats, or so I’m told.
I choose recovery.
And I recommend recovery.
“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose; and nothin’ don’t mean nothin’ if it ain’t free.”
Use Your Damn Skills 