The most experienced, successful trauma recover-er will not know how to solve EVERY trauma related problem or symptom that crops up.
That happens.
And that’s utterly normal.
As it turns out, NO ONE knows how to solve EVERY problem, trauma related or otherwise, that comes across our radar screen.
I’m talking about the smartest, most has-their-sh*t together trauma survivor in recovery you can imagine.
I’m talking about Trauma Recovery Ninjas with years of experience, who have significantly changed their life through recovery skills, tools, and philosophies.
Not even THEY know how to handle EVERY problem that crops up.
Maybe you can give yourself a break for not immediately knowing how to manage or resolve EVERY symptom you experience.
The reality is, trauma recovery is not about “knowing”…well, anything.
It’s not like we’re handed a Book of Secret Knowledge, and suddenly we know how to effortlessly metabolize every trauma response or cognition we have.
(Trust me, if that book were possible to write, I would write it and immediately give it away for free.)
This isn’t about “knowledge” or “intelligence.” There are plenty of trauma survivors who are literally brilliant, who get their brains beat in by trauma responses on the regular.
What trauma recovery is actually about, is adaptation.
It’s about how we approach the situation when we have literally no idea what to do.
Everybody reading this has had a trauma response that has hit us in the face, and we have had literally no idea how to begin managing or processing it.
(If you haven’t had this experience, just wait, you will.)
The fact that we have no idea what the hell to do doesn’t mean we’re toast.
It means we have to fall back on our trauma recovery skills, tools, and philosophies and start asking some good Recovery Supporting Questions (RSQ’s)— no more, no less.
Speaking for myself, when a particularly intense trigger smacks me in the face, I usually have to run through a few RSQ’s before I start to get a handle on what to do— and then I have to experiment with a few tools before I find one that really “clicks.”
Don’t get up in your head about “knowing” how to handle a situation.
Trauma recovery is about being MacGyver, not Mr. Perfect.
Don’t get precious and don’t get perfectionistic. Remember that literally EVERY trauma recovery skill, tool, or philosophy is a work in progress— and it’s your mission to fine tune ALL the tips and tricks you’re learning to fit your needs.
If the world’s most accomplished trauma recover-ers get their ass kicked by trauma responses for a minute before they get their sh*t together and manage them, maybe you can let up on yourself a little bit.
You’re a work in progress and trauma recovery is a dark ride.
Grace over guilt.
Use Your Damn Skills 