So the world is unsafe. And?

The world isn’t perfectly safe, and it’s not going to be perfectly safe. 

The world should be safer, and we should work to make it safer— but it’s never going to be just “safe.” 

That can be really hard for our traumatized nervous system to accept. 

Especially when we’ve been hurt in the past, our nervous system is going to really, really want the world and people to be categorically safe before it engages with either. 

Which then often results in us avoiding both the world and other people.

I wish the world and other people were safe. 

One of the most important tasks we face in realistic trauma recovery is figuring out how we can get our nervous system and “parts”to stay present, even in the absence of safety. 

Because we can’t just nope out of the world, no matter how unsafe we feel. 

I know, I know. Noping out of this unsafe world sounds really, really appealing, especially when we’re nursing old wounds. 

But ultimately, avoidance goes nowhere. 

As seductive as it is, avoidance doesn’t just keep us stuck— it tends to sink us deeper into the quicksand the longer we try to use it as a “strategy.” 

It’s not your fault that avoidance appeals to you, by the way. It’s not you being a “coward” or “immature” or “irresponsible.” 

We avoid because we’ve been conditioned to believe we can’t handle life. 

We avoid because we haven’t had the tools or the support we need to handle life. 

We avoid because we have BS (Belief Systems) whispering in our ear that we can’t handle life. 

So: don’t kick yourself for avoiding. Of course you avoid. You’ve been hurt— that really happened to you, you’re not making it up for exaggerating it— and your system is now pressuring you to sit on the sidelines until safety is guaranteed. 

Your “parts” and inner child need to be validated and supported, not shamed or pressured. 

I truly wish comprehensive safety was possible in this world, in this lifetime. 

But realistic trauma recovery acknowledges that’s a fantasy. 

And realistic trauma recovery has us asking ouselves what we need to shake out of the “freeze” response elicited by the unsafety of this world. 

Usually that answer involves patience, willingness to take and validate baby steps, and radical self-compassion. 

Breathe; blink; focus.