Just noticing is a recovery skill.

Trauma recovery begins with just noticing. 

Just noticing how we feel. 

Just noticing what we need. 

Just noticing whose voice it is echoing in our head. 

Just noticing what emotions and memories are scraped up by certain people or situations. 

It may feel to us that we are noticing all the f*cking time— that our problem, in point of fact, is that we notice way too much, actually. 

Here’s the thing, though: when we’ve been coping with trauma symptoms for years, we’re very often not all that great at JUST noticing. 

We’re really good at judging. 

We’re really good at compartmentalizing. 

But just noticing, without judgement, without feeling the urge to “stuff” our emotions or memories somewhere? We don’t have a lot of practice with that. 

It’s not our fault. We haven’t been taught much about just noticing. 

When we were noticed by the people around us growing up, it very often led to judgment, scorn, or even punishment. 

Many of us developed the BS (Belief System) that just noticing or being noticed was dangerous. 

We couldn’t just notice what we were thinking or feeling, because to do so would make us feel shame or panic. 

Over time, trauma tends to mangle our ability to just notice. 

Many trauma survivors know very well the paradoxical feeling of being hyperaware of every goddamn physical or emotional sensation happening in or around our body— and yet, somehow, being completely unaware or completely numb to all of it. 

Healing that starts with just noticing. 

Make no mistake: just noticing is a skill. We’re not going to be great at it at first. We’re not used to it. 

Many of us have even invested lots of time and effort into explicitly NOT noticing what’s happen to or in or around us. In our experience, it’s safer and less scary to NOT notice. 

How do we begin just noticing? 

We start out by making the agreement with ourselves that whatever we do or don’t just notice in our head, heart, or body, we will not attack or abandon ourselves. 

If we really want to develop the skill of just noticing, we have to clear and firm with ourselves: we will not us the skill of just noticing against our “parts” or our inner child. 

If we really want to change how we feel and function— if we really intend to work our trauma recovery with honesty and humility— we need to start out by just noticing. 

Not judging. Not overcompensating. Not hiding. Not cringing. 

Just noticing— with curiosity, with compassion, with patience, and with a willingness to radically accept whatever we just notice. 

We don’t have to always LIKE what we just notice. 

But we do have to accept it as exactly where we are. Exactly what we’re up against. 

As long as our ability and willingness to just notice is compromised or overwhelmed by trauma symptoms, we’re going to stay in neutral in our recovery. 

Leaning into the recovery skill of just noticing is never the wrong choice. 

And it’s a recovery skill we can begin cultivating today. This moment. 

What are you just noticing right now? 

See? You’re on your way.