What can’t be said will be felt– physically.

Our bodies often say what our words can’t. 

That’s one reason why CPTSD survivors often experience pain and other chronic health problems.

It’s not that physical problems are CAUSED by our mental distress— it’s that our mental distress makes us incredibly vulnerable to any and every source of pain and dysfunction out there. 

It’s hard for a body to fight things off when it’s been fighting off feelings and memories all day and night. 

But it’s also the case that the cells of our body have memories. 

They keep track. They “keep the score,” as the title of an obscure book put it. 

You may have heard the expression “what cannot be said will be wept?” 

It’s also true that what cannot be said, will be FELT— literally, physically. 

It’s one reason why developing the capacity to put words to our feelings and needs and memories and pain really, really matters in realistic trauma recovery. 

It’s hard to explain to others how “stuck” CPTSD survivors can feel in our body. 

Utterly stuck— and yet, somehow, not in our body at all. 

It’s hard to explain to others how CPTSD makes going to the doctor— even the dentist (especially the dentist, actually) about 10,000 times harder than it “should” be. 

Then many CPTSD survivors run into the reality that many of our physical problems don’t “behave” like “normal” medical problems do. 

They can be mysterious and difficult to diagnose— and they can often be less than responsive to modalities of care that seem to work for everyone else. 

There are survivors reading this more tired than they should be. 

There are survivors reading this physically sicker than they should be. 

There are survivors reading this experiencing pain— that they will never bring to the attention of a medical provider, because experience has taught them that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. 

If that’s you, you’re not alone. 

Realistic, sustainable trauma recovery has to account not only for our relationship with our “parts,” but our physical body as well. 

Trauma recovery that ignores the somatic component of CPTSD is incomplete. 

(And also, recovery that pretends CPTSD is ONLY about somatics is incomplete.)

Realistic recovery is holistic, in the sense that it accounts for how body, mind, and spirit interact and influence each other. 

But for now, realize: you’re not crazy. 

This really is taking a toll on your body. 

You’re not imagining it. 

And shame and self-blame is not the answer. Ever.