CPTSD and decision making.

Ever make a less than perfect choice? Yes, you have. So have I. 

Humans make less than perfect choices. 

And CPTSD makes us particularly vulnerable to making choices that are not aligned with our values or our goals. 

Why do we make the choices we do? 

We make our choices because of what we understand to be our options in the moment, and the potential consequences of our choices. 

Making “good” choices supposes both that we have an accurate understanding of those options and consequences— and that there are, in fact, “good” choices available to us. 

Trauma f*cks up both of those assumptions. 

CPTSD is really good at poisoning our understanding of our options in the moment. 

CPTSD is good at getting in our head and convincing us we “can’t” or “shouldn’t” do things we actually can do. 

CPTSD is also really good at getting in our head and clouding our perception of the stakes or the consequences of certain choices. 

Put more simply: we do not think straight when CPTSD is in our ear, telling us what’s what. 

That’s not an “excuse;” that’s reality. CPTSD hijacks our attention, our perceptions, and our beliefs— i.e., our primary decision making tools. 

Is it any wonder that, when we’re under the influence of CPTSD, we make decisions that do not align with our values and our goals? 

Most often, when CPTSD is f*cking with us, we make decisions out of fear, despair, and artificially low self-esteem. 

We make decisions we would NOT make if we had a clear understanding of our resources, our worth, and the reality of the situation on the ground. 

Humans are not known for making perfect decisions anyway— but when CPTSD is factored in, it’s a miracle we can make “good enough “ decisions to brush our teeth and put our shoes on correctly. 

Extend yourself grace when it comes to imperfect decisions you’ve made while CPTSD is f*ckng with you. 

Trauma conditioning brainwashes us in the most classic sense: it gets us to believe things that are not true and do things that are not authentic to us. 

Yes, we are accountable for decisions we made before getting into trauma recovery. No, we don’t get a “free pass.” 

But true accountability actually “accounts” for the duress we were under when we made certain choices. 

And true accountability is ultimately changed behavior— which only happens when we’ve met our past imperfections with compassion and realism. 

So you’ve made imperfect decisions in the past. Welcome to the human species. 

So you’re committed to making decisions from here on out that are consistent with your identity, goals, and values. Welcome to trauma recovery.