My favorite Recovery Supporting Question

The Recovery Supporting Question (RSQ) I, personally, get the most mileage out of on a daily basis is: “does this support the life I’m trying to create?” 

That might sound simple, and it is— but, in my experience, it’s the simple tools that I’m most likely to use on a consistent basis. So I keep it simple when I can. 

That RSQ— “does this support the life I’m trying to create?”— can apply to decisions, entertainment choices, time management, relationships…almost anything and everything we encounter during the day. 

I don’t know about you, but one of my biggest vulnerabilities in my trauma and addiction recovery is missing opportunities to make recovery supporting micro decisions. 

I tend to go on autopilot more than is helpful— and my autopilot, probably like yours, was programmed by people and situations that do not prioritize my safety and stability. 

We need to remember this isn’t our fault. Everyone reading this is a victim (yes, I said “victim”— it’s not a bad word, guys) of our old conditioning. Our autopilot defaults to Trauma Brain— and that’s not a “choice” we’re making. 

Consciously looking for opportunities to ask, “does this support the life I’m trying to create?” helps keep me present. 

It’s comparatively difficult to go on autopilot if you’e consciously, intentionally looking for chances to ask any RSQ— but especially that one. 

There might be a small subset of times we really won’t know if what we’re looking at in this moment does or doesn’t support the life we’re trying to create— but the vast majority of the time, we’ll know. 

If we can think to ask the question, the answer will probably be fairly straightforward. 

It’s remembering, and being willing, to ask the question that can be the tricky part. 

Sometimes our hopelessness can get in the way of asking RSQ’s. 

Sometimes we get distracted— by anxiety, by triggers, by symptoms. 

Sometimes I’ve even been in the position of not asking RSQ’s, because Trauma Brain gets to whispering in my ear that I don’t “deserve” to make distinctions between what will and won’t support the life I’m trying to create— that I should just shut up and take what life gives me, because “other people have it worse.” 

Understand: Trauma Brain will do everything in its power to keep us from consistently asking Recovery Supporting Questions. 

Trauma Brain knows that if we get in the habit of asking RSQ’s, its BS (Belief Systems— but the other kind of BS, too) won’t hold up. 

We cannot let the fact that asking RSQ’s is often hard, keep ups from asking RSQ’s. 

Questions are one of the most useful recovery tools we can leverage in our healing. Questions are literally how we think. 

Right now, I’m asking myself questions: how can I express this so my audience will find meaning and support in my words? 

Right now, you’re asking yourself questions: is what he saying correct? Relevant to me? Helpful in my recovery? 

See? We think by asking and answering questions. Questions are the primary focus tool of our conscious and unconscious mind. 

Making sure we consistently ask Recovery Supporting Questions is how we scramble old patterns of thinking, and redirect our focus to Recovery Supporting Rituals and Recovery Supporting Behaviors. 

Make no mistake: Trauma Brain is going to do everything it can to get us asking sh*tty questions, that can only have sh*tty, recovery interfering answers. 

Don’t let it. Assert influence over the tools of self-talk and mental focus by inserting the RSQ, “does this support the life I’m trying to create?”, at every opportunity.

Shoot to ask it at least three times for the rest of your day today— for starters.