Just keep baby stepping.

The little steps will add up. 

Not immediately. Often not in ways that will keep us consistently motivated. 

But they will add up. They will go somewhere. 

Many survivors in trauma recovery struggle with taking those little steps, not because we’re not motivated, and not because we’re not committed— but because our trauma conditioning has led us to believe it’s pointless to take any steps. 

One of the symptoms of PTSD is a sense of a “foreshortened future.” 

What that means is, we come to believe that either the world or our life is going to be ending soon anyway, so what’s the point of anything? 

This sense of foreshortened future can lead to what I call “doom attacks”— which are kind of like panic attacks, only instead of intense bursts of panic, they’re sudden, overwhelming feelings that The End Is Near and Everything is Hopeless. 

It’s hard to convince ourselves to take even baby steps when we’re convinced The End Is Near and Everything Is Pointless. 

We need to be clear about the fact that all of this is Trauma Brain creating noise to distract and derail us from our trauma recovery. 

Then truth is, little steps do add up. In fact, almost every big piece of movement in trauma recovery, or any long term project, is the end result of consistent, purposeful baby steps. 

Everybody who has ever worked a trauma recovery has done so baby step, after baby step, after baby step. 

What we need to remember, as we’re taking our little steps, is that trajectory is more important than speed. 

It matters more that our steps are consistent and headed in the right direction, than how fast we’re stepping or the size of our steps. 

The power of our trauma conditioning lies in its consistency. We were conditioned over, and over, and over, usually over the course of years. We were told certain things over, and over, and over. We were treated in certain ways over, and over, and over. 

Our trauma conditioning has a significant head start on our recovery reconditioning. 

That said, our trauma conditioning cannot, will not, outlast our baby steps toward recovery— provided we don’t get discouraged and get inconsistent with our baby steps. 

One thing I learned running marathons is: you absolutely WILL reach the finish line, if you keep moving forward. It may not be fast, it may not be pretty— but you WILL get there. 

Trauma recovery is the same way. 

We WILL create and live a life worth living— if we keep moving forward with purpose and consistency. 

Our trauma conditioning is not infinite. It can feel infinite, because by the time we get around to understanding what it is and trying to do something about it, it’s usually been kicking our ass for the majority of our life. 

But it is not infinite, and it is not set in stone. In fact, every scrap of modern neuropsych research tells us that our brain is far more malleable for far longer, than we ever previously suspected. 

If we keep taking purposeful little steps in the direction of meaningful recovery, if we stay consistent, if we don’t let the bad days and the apparent lack of progress get up in our head— we will win. 

I don’t need to you be enthusiastic about recovery every day. No one is enthusiastic about recovery every day. I’m not enthusiastic about my recovery every day. 

I don’t need you to have perfect faith in yourself or your recovery every day. Take it from me: your level of “faith” in this whole process is going to be wildly variable day to day. 

I don’t need you to truly believe that every baby step matters. If you’re having a day where you think nothing matters, that’s okay— have whatever kind of day you need to have. 

But I do need you taking the baby steps. 

I do need you nudge, nudge, nudging toward the life you envision. 

I do need you doing the things, even if you’re not feeling the love at this moment. 

Every survivor who has meaningfully recovered from trauma, has at multiple points doubted their ability to recovery from trauma. 

And every survivor who has ever meaningfully recovered from trauma has done so because they kept baby stepping on days when they assumed it was all pointless. 

Don’t believe everything you think. 

Just keep baby stepping.