There’s a reason why most personal development pages on the internet (including this one!) can’t dole out the specific strategies that will work for you in your recovery: because the specific strategies that will work for YOU are just that— specific to YOU.
You— yes you, right there, reading this page— have different needs, experiences, influences, and triggers than anyone else reading this page.
The very best I, or anyone writing things on the internet, can do, is bring your attention to some of the common PATTERNS we see in how people recover and grow…and then offer our OBSERVATIONS and SUGGESTIONS on how these might be tailored to peoples’ individual needs.
All of which is to say: I don’t expect the things I post on this page to solve your problems or comprehensively change your world.
I have way, way too much respect for you as a unique individual to assume that I know the first thing about what you, specifically, need.
Any personal growth or recovery page on the internet that DOESN’T acknowledge this— that it cannot, by definition, offer you advice specifically tailored to you— is playing a disingenuous game.
More to the point: they’re probably just trying to get you click on their content…without acknowledging the limitations of what they can do for you.
Don’t get me wrong: I hope the things I post are helpful to you.
I hope they are thought provoking. I hope they resonate with you.
I hope the things I post speak to some things you have experienced, some of the challenges you’ve faced, some of the dilemmas you’ve encountered.
But my writing on the internet is much like any self help book that’s ever been published: it has its limits, because I don’t know YOU.
What I want my writing to do is make you curious.
I want it to validate some things you may be experiencing or feeling.
I want it to get you thinking about how what I post and write about may— or may not apply to you.
(That’s right: my writing is JUST as useful to you EVEN IF I post things that don’t quite “click” with you…because it’s made you think deeply about what DOES “click” for you!)
I want my writing to inspire and motivate you— to take action, to continue in your therapy or recovery journey, to not give up or give in.
A huge problem the self-help industry has right now is recognizing its limitations.
Self-help “gurus” often seem to be allergic to the phrase, “I don’t know.”
They seem to think that “experts” or “leaders” never utter the phrase, “I need to think about that,” or “I need more information.”
And, don’t get me wrong, I get it: it’s not great marketing for an “expert” to say they don’t know something; or that their experience and expertise has limitations; or that they sometimes don’t know what to do without more information.
The thing is, we live in the real world here.
Recovery and personal growth are often non-linear, confusing, counterintuitive processes.
What we need in our personal growth journeys is not hype or hyperbole about what one’s writing on the internet, or what one’s latest and greatest workshop, can do for you.
We need realistic acknowledgment of reality.
And the reality is: “experts” are limited.
Doctors are limited.
Coaches are limited, consultants are limited…and don’t get me started on “gurus.”
On your personal growth or recovery journey, please: keep your eyes open.
Watch carefully for “experts,” “gurus,” mentors, or guides, who are overselling themselves or their abilities.
It really, truly does make a difference in the results you produce on your journey.
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