So many of us flip out when we bump up against our limits.
We’ve been taught that having limits is bad.
We’re not supposed to think in terms of “I can’t do this.”
We’re supposed to embrace our UNLIMITED POTENTIAL, right?!?
That’s what all the self-help gurus say, anyway.
I can assure you: you have limits. There are absolutely things you cannot do.
I can also assure you that this fact probably matters a lot less than you’ve been taught to think it does.
Who are we kidding, when we go around pretending we don’t have limits? This is the real world; of course we have limits.
We only have so much time. We only have so much money at any given time. We only have a finite amount of focus. We have a finite amount of physical strength and energy.
You have limits. It’s not a big deal.
And THAT— THAT is where the problem usually is.
The problem is not that we have limits. We are human. This is reality. We live in a world that is defined by limits and boundaries.
Without limits and boundaries we’d just be, I don’t know, all free flowing energy constantly morphing in and out of form. But a quick glance around you will confirm that no, we actually live in a world of physical and metaphysical limits.
The problem is, we’ve been convinced that our limits are way more important than they are.
The problem is, we’ve been convinced that because we have certain limits, we cannot do certain things that we absolutely can do.
The problem is, we’ve been taught that limits are such a big deal that we have to deny and disown them— and when we get into the habit of denying and disowning anything, THEN we’re giving that thing way more power than it should probably have.
At any given time, you are limited by your comparative level of skill at a task.
At any given time, you are limited by your abundance— or lack— of applicable tools in the moment.
At any given time, you are limited by your paucity of experience in a situation.
What you’ve probably been led to believe— and maybe even convinced yourself— is that because you have those limits, you cannot succeed in this situation.
You may believe that because you do not have a perfect skillset or toolbox to handle a particular stressor or symptom, you are at the mercy of those stressors and symptoms.
You may believe that because you cannot do a thing easily on your first try, that thing is not for you. That you’ll never get it right…let alone learn to actually ENJOY the thing.
None of that is true.
The fact is, our limits— especially when it comes to skill building and adding to our psychoemotional toolboxes— usually turn out to be quite impermanent.
We are built to learn.
We are built to expand.
On a more prosaic level, we are built to start out being lousy and awkward at stuff— then, through patience and practice, slowly get better at stuff, before mastering stuff.
Our limits can change.
The thing is: if we do not acknowledge our limits— if we flip out at the very idea of having limits— we’re going to have a hard time expanding them.
You have to realistically acknowledge your limitations if you want to change them.
Don’t get wigged out by the concept of being limited.
Don’t buy into the hype of self-help gurus who want to convince you that you’re existentially, metaphysically unlimited.
Relax, focus, and get cozy with your limits. Get to know them.
Then create a realistic plan to wipe ‘em out.