“To suffer with.”

Self compassion is not a weakness.

In CPTSD recovery, self compassion is a tool. A powerful tool. An essential tool. 

We’ve been conditioned to believe that self compassion makes us vulnerable— but it doesn’t. 

The word “compassion” comes from Latin. It literally means “to suffer with.” 

When we extend compassion toward ourselves— toward our “parts,” toward our inner child— we are committing to not abandoning or rejecting them. To staying with them, no matter what. 

If you’re reading this, you know that I believe the core of trauma recovery is our relationship with ourselves. 

That’s what gets mangled by the experiences that create CPTSD: experiences that are prolonged, that are inescapable, and that entwine with— that poison— our relationships. 

Healing our relationship with ourselves starts with self compassion. 

Not some fluffy, abstract, pop psychology concept— but what self compassion actually means. To suffer with. To be with. 

To not abandon. Not reject. 

We can’t heal our “parts” and inner child if they’re constantly afraid of us. 

We get conditioned to shame ourselves, especially our “weaknesses.” 

We get conditioned to talk to ourselves the same way our bullies and abusers talked to us. 

That’s where we need to start if CPTSD is going to be real. 

We need to get past our allergy to self-compassion. 

We need to remember and truly know what it means. 

To suffer with. Be with. 

That is to say: to love. 

Compassion is no more a weakness than love is. 

And self-love necessarily starts with self-compassion. 

The real stuff. Not the touchy feely bullsh*t. 

“To suffer with.”