Injured, not disordered.

It is ironic as hell that the world understands PTSD and CPTSD as manifestations of “weakness”  or “brokenness.” 

The symptoms and diagnoses survivors struggle with are the result of us having survived— sometimes against people and situations that literally tried to kill us. 

The fact that we experience symptoms and carry diagnoses now do not represent flaws. They are battle scars— quite literally, for some of us. 

It’s easy to get up in our head about what it “means” to have PTSD or CPTSD. 

The internalized voices of our abusers and bullies, what I call Trauma Brian, will give us plenty of answers to “what does having PTSD or CPTSD mean?”— and, spoiler, none of those answers will make us feel good. 

We live in a world that does not like and is not comfortable with pain. 

That’s not news. Nobody likes pain, by definition. But if you haven’t noticed, the culture around us has developed this idea that to experience or express pain is somehow “weak.” 

We disdain a “whiner.” 

Having a “victim mindset” is one of the most hurtful insults we can sling at each other in our culture. 

The paradox of that is, it is normal and healthy for humans to acknowledge and express when t things hurt. Identifying and exploring pain are essential to processing that pain and moving on. 

But because our culture is so phobic of pain and discomfort, we have pathologized and demonized acknowledging and expressing pain. 

The lives of survivors who struggle with PTSD or CPTSD are entwined with pain, often physical as well as psychological. Is it any wonder that, in our pain-phobic culture, trauma survivors often find ourselves misunderstood and mocked? 

Nobody reading this is a trauma survivor because they are “weak.” 

The exact opposite is true: we are survivors because we found a way through. 

That way through very often injured our nervous system, and those patterns of damage are what we call PTSD and CPTSD. 

It’s real important we not let those labels distract us from the most important fact here: we found a way through. 

Victimhood is not a “mindset.” It is a fact. 

There is nothing shameful about being a victim of trauma— except in the the fear and fantasies of a culture that hates to think about pain. 

When Trauma Brain tries to get us feeling guilty or hopeless about our trauma symptoms, it’s real important we have the willingness and ability to step back and remember: those symptoms, as painful and inconvenient as they are, are evidence of our resilience (ugh, that word) and intelligence. 

Sometimes it seems as if the cultural tide is turning when it comes to perception of PTSD and CPTSD. Sometimes we see it acknowledged that trauma represents an injury more than a disorder, especially when incurred by soldiers or firefighters or police officers. 

Be mindful that Trauma Brain doesn’t seize upon this fact to whisper in your ear, “Okay…but you’re not a a soldier or firefighter or police officer. What right do YOU have to be sad?” 

Realistic, sustainable recovery from trauma starts with us acknowledging and accepting that, whether we love the word “trauma” or not, something “bad enough” happened to produce our symptoms. 

We also have to acknowledge that our symptoms, as battle scars, are not evidence of “weakness.” 

More often, they are evidence that we endured what we endured without the kind of support we needed. 

They are evidence that we found a way through. At a cost, yes, but we are here. 

Trauma symptoms have nothing to do with “weakness,” or even “brokenness.” 

They, like all scars, remind us that the past is real, to quote the song lyric— and, like all scars, they can heal in such a way that they do not define our identity or options going forward. 

Yes, they can. And they will, if we work our recovery. 

Breathe; blink; focus.