It happens. No shame.

We don’t know better until we know better. We can’t do better until we can. 

We’re not ready until we’re ready. And there’s no shame in not having been ready when we weren’t ready. 

If we’re not in a place where we can ask for help, we’re not in that place. It happens. 

If we’re not in a place where we can leave a an abusive or painful relationship with a person, a church, or a community, we’re not in that place. It happens. 

If we’re struggling with dissociation, we’re struggling with dissociation. That happens, too. 

If we’re struggling with self-harm or other addictions, we’re struggling with self-harm or other addictions. That happens a lot. 

If we’re struggling to eat, we’re struggling to eat. It’s a thing. 

If we’re cranky, we’re cranky. This too is a thing. 

If we’re sad, we’re sad. Very much a thing. 

If we need to cry, we need to cry. Sometimes we need to cry. 

We are where we are. We are who we are. 

We’re as hurt as we are. We’re as tired as we are. 

We’re as hopeful as we are. We’re as hopeless as we are. 

No more, no less. 

If we’re freaked out, we’re freaked out. Everybody gets freaked out. 

If we’re struggling to get out of bed, we’re struggling to get out of bed. Sometimes the bad grabs us. You know. 

If we don’t remember, we don’t remember. Memory’s complicated. 

If we remember all too well, we remember all too well. As I say, memory’s complicated. 

If we don’t feel like doing our therapy session, we don’t feel like doing our therapy session— but we can still do it. 

If we don’t feel like staying alive today, we don’t feel like staying alive— but we can stay alive. We can avoid making a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling state. 

There is no need to shame anything we’re experiencing or feeling. 

I said “anything.” 

I guarantee, you are not the first, last, or only person to experience or feel what you’re experiencing and feeling right now. No, no one has had exactly the life you’ve had; but that feeling of being utterly, exquisitely alone in the universe? So many people reading this are feeling exactly that right now, that you truly would’t believe it. 

We are where we are. 

We can accept it. 

Doesn’t mean we have to like it. 

Doesn’t mean we can’t or don’t work to change it. 

Doesn’t mean anything other than it means. 

You’re you, and I’m me, and we are exactly as we are. No more; no less; no different. 

And we deserve to live. 

We deserve safety. 

We deserve support. 

We deserve a shot at a life. 

Recovery happens— but not by accident.