Honoring our current limitations isn’t a “defeat.” No matter what Trauma Brain says.

Anyone recovering from trauma is going to have some limitations out there in the world. 

These limitations aren’t anything to be ashamed of. They’re not “choices” we’re making to be “difficult” or “weak.” 

It’s just the case that our nervous system is sensitized in such a way that, for the time being, we need to avoid or limit our exposure to certain people and other triggers for the sake of our safety and stability. 

Does this mean avoiding triggers indefinitely? No. 

Does this mean that we’ll never again be able to do the stuff that right now we can’t? No. 

Does this mean that trauma has “won,” in that it has interrupted our “normal” life or preferred activities? Definitely not. 

The truth is, every human being has certain limitations— and injuries, such a post traumatic stress symptoms and struggles, bring specific limitations. 

There is no human being in this world who can get injured, and just go on living life like they were. 

An injury, by definition, impacts how we feel and function— and, if we want to heal that injury, we need to acknowledge and respect the limitations it imposes on us. 

It is not “weak” to acknowledge the impact of an injury— or to curtail our routine in order to accommodate its healing. 

The realistic management of an injury such as post traumatic stress necessitates that we honor the limitations it imposes upon us. 

Can we work on shifting those limitations as we heal? Of course we can. That’s what physical therapy for physical injuries, and psychotherapy and recovery work for psychoemotional and behavioral injuries, is all about. 

But even if we’re working to change the limitations our injuries impose upon us, we don’t simply ignore those limitations— and we take great care not to push too far, too fast. 

What kind of limitations, specifically, are we talking about acknowledging and honoring when it coms to post traumatic stress? 

We may want to go to certain places— but we just can’t, not right now. 

We may want to go to certain functions (including, but not limited to, family functions)— but we can’t not right now. 

We may want to accept or pursue or return to certain job opportunities— but we can’t, not right now. 

We may want to resume or take up certain hobbies— but we can’t, not right now. 

We may want to watch certain TV shows or go to certain movies or listen to certain podcasts or listen to certain music— but we can’t. Not right now. 

None of this is to say that avoiding things that trigger and otherwise destabilize us indefinitely is the way to heal post traumatic stress. To the contrary, healing trauma almost always involves some form of exposure therapy. 

(By the by, “exposure therapy” is almost never what most people envision when they hear that term— but that’s for another blog.)

But intelligent trauma recovery involves realistically managing our exposure to people, media, and situations that have the potential to compromise our safety and stability. 

This is not about “weakness.” 

This is not about “letting the trauma win” or “letting our abusers win.” 

Managing the limitations our trauma symptoms and struggles impose upon us isn’t even a defeat. Far from it. 

If we’re gonna win in the end, we have to rein in our desire to do too much, too soon. 

When you break a leg, you need to wait for it to heal. It is inadvisable to try to run a race before you’re ready. 

But it’s also inadvisable to not move your leg at all while you’re waiting for it to heal. 

This is not about perpetual avoidance. This is about realistic, intelligent exposure. 

Easy does it.